I'm about to lose my Mind (Open)

Stiles wrapped his arm around Sky and nuzzled her neck. He knew that if he was close enough to her and if she helped him that he would be able to calm down. His breathing became slightly better as she ran her hand down his back and he murdered onto her neck, "I'm so sorry..." He meant it too. Not just for what had happened today though, for everything. "You're right abou- about me. All of this is my fault." He frowned and hugged her tighter, hoping that she would forgive him. He doubted that she would, she wasn't weak like him, it was going to take more than just a simple apology to make her forgive him. Once she started to use her Siren Song, he noticed and he wanted to stop her. It wasn't fair for her to take away the pain that he deserved, but he didn't want to say anything more. Even if he did, he probably would be too weak to do it. His ribs were killing him after she had pressed on them, so he put one hand on them.

When he nuzzled her neck, she sighed softly, contently for the time being, it was something she wanted from him, to know she was still loved, although at times she felt unloved, and more like a burden than anything. She laid her head against his, as she closed her eyes, as she bit her bottom lip, not wanting to say anything more, even to his apology, but she felt like she had to say something. “Not once have I ever stopped loving you. I’ve always loved you, always will. Please… please remember that, you are part of my heart, Stiles.” And she felt the tears well up behind closed eyes, as she wrapped her arms around him as gently as possible.

She kept her Siren Song on him, wanting to make sure he was not in anymore pain, as she buried her face into the side of his neck, murmuring, “I’m sorry I hurt your ribs, it wasn’t me… it shouldn’t have happened.” She knew she shouldn’t have lost control, as she snuggled to him, holding on to him, she was not letting go anytime soon it seemed.

Stiles nodded as she spoke to him and he believed her. She meant what she was saying and so did he. Everything he had said to her he meant. "I know," He said quietly and held onto her tighter, wishing things were different. That he hadn't been part of her life so she didn't have to feel the pain that he knew she felt. "If I wasn't here, none of this would have happened you know. You would be happy..." He frowned and focused on his breathing again. Sometimes he just wished that he wasn't there anymore. So much pain and misery was surrounding him and he knew that it was his fault.

He shook his head at her, "You didn't hurt me.." He was lying but he wanted her to be happy. She didn't need to worry about that. He deserved it anyway. Actually, he deserved so much more pain, but it would come eventually, he was sure of that. "Just forget about it and lay here with me for awhile. I can't be alone..." He meant that too. If she left him, all hell would break loose. She was keeping him partially sane for the time being. He wanted it to stay that way.

It was something they needed, they needed to bond, not to fight, she opened her eyes and glanced to him. “If you weren’t here, I would be a monster, Stiles.” She tilted her head a bit, “You keep me human. You keep me grounded. When we fight… I lose my footing, I lose who I am…” She was trying to explain it to him, as she lifted up her hands to place them on his cheeks gently. “I did hurt you, and I regret it every time I do. I love you, Stiles. I don’t like hurting you.” She leaned over to kiss him softly, and then laid her head against his, “But never say that again, it is untrue and I will not have it. You are part of my life, without you, I die… it’s simple as that.”

Stiles shook his head at her, "I was already hurt..." He shrugged and looked away from her, he didn't want her to see the pain that was showing on his face. She didn't need to see that. When she was done talking, he nodded. He was done talking, he didn't want to anymore and he just couldn't. He was feeling so weak and helpless. He hated it so much, he wanted to be strong, but he was going to have to be okay with the fact that he wasn't. So, he just kissed Sky's cheek and then buried his face into her neck again and snuggled close to her, as if saying that she would never lose him and they he would always be there to help her no matter what she did.

Although he didn't want to talk, there was one thing that he needed to ask her, for his own sake. "Are you mad at me Sky? I mean I know you are, but how angry are you? How can I gain your trust back..." The thought stated to freak him out again and he felt the panic attack coming, but he concentrated on his breathing, hoping to stop it before it started. A tear ran down his cheek and he moved closer to her.

To be kissed and his face buried in her neck, she felt comforted a bit by it, she liked to snuggle with him, she just loved being around him when they were not fighting. She sighed softly to him, as she murmured to him, “Family is forever. I’ll get over it. And I do not know yet how you can gain back my trust. Just… give me a little time.” And she meant that, family was everything, no matter what, even if what he did was wrong, she was still here for him. She sighed softly, as she laid her head against his shoulder, a few strands of her hair fell into her face. “You’re still mine.”

Stiles nodded and keep breathing slowly, taking deep breaths. He just wished that he could someone gain his trust back then and there. He couldn't take knowing that she didn't trust him. It was the worst feeling in the world, but he would gain it back, no matter what. When she said he was hers, he couldn't help but smile slightly, "And you are still partially mine?" He was really wondering if she was okay with that. He truly hoped so! If not, he would go insane, literally, the only thing keeping him from going crazy was Sky and without her... Let's just say it would be bad!

“A part of me will always be yours.” And that was true, it was that simple and that complicated, they had a complex relationship, but a close one. She laid her head against his shoulder, staying snuggled to him. She had to stay with him, she did not know if she could take being alone, she closed her eyes, she felt like she was going to die without either of them. She bit her bottom lip slightly, “Just… no more deciding what is best for me, talk to me first… please…” She did not want to go through this again.

Glad that she had said that, Stiles smiled a bit. But, he was also wishing that he could have more. It sounded really selfish, but he just didn't trust anyone else with his cousin. She deserved the best and he couldn't trust anyone to treat her the right way. She stopped his train of thought about how she deserves the best with her comment and her nodded. "Okay," He sighed and his smile turned back into a frown. "Promise me something Sky?" He looked up at her, the pain was still showing on his face, but he needed to look at her so she knew how serious he was about this.

She just wanted him to know that she would always love him, she also wished he never doubted her love for him, as she snuggled to him. “Name it. I’ll see if I can promise it.” She meant it, she hated to lie but if it was a promise she could keep, she would keep it. She laid her head against his, as she glanced at him, knowing he was in pain. She wished she could heal him properly, but she couldn't, she could only remove the pain, as she glanced to his eyes, making sure to keep eye contact.

Stiles took a breath, "Promise me that you won't leave. I don't care how hard things get here. I will take care of you, just do not leave Sky." He looked down after he was done talking and put his hands on his ribs which were starting to hurt again. If Sky couldn't promise him, he would be heartbroken. Well, he already was, but it would be worse. He hoped to god that she would promise him. It was true, he would take care of her when times got hard and he would keep her safe. She couldn't leave, could she?

It was a tough promise and she could not exactly promise him, “I…” She thought for a moment, “I need my Dad here… I can’t promise not to leave, until I get my father here.” She bit her bottom lip slightly, as she tilted her head, “I want to spend time with him, and to do that would require leaving and go back to Los Angeles. Although, get him to move back to Beacon Hills, be a Sheriff with your Dad.” And she meant that, as she smiled a bit to him, “Then I can promise to stick around. Dad should be here anyway, family in one place is much better…”

Stiles' heart dropped as he heard what she had to say. "Oh.." Part of him wished that she would have just lied and told him she would stay. At least that way he would have hope and he would be happy for a smile period of time. It would be better than the way he felt now. He nodded and turned away from her, he did't want her to see him crying and he couldn't look at her or be close to her, knowing that she would be leaving. If he kept his distance now, it wouldn't be as hard for him to say goodbye. He knew that the moment he said that word, he would not only be saying goodbye to Sky, but also his sanity and his happiness for the time being.

She knew he was sad, but she moved to turn him around to face her, “Stiles… Dad has been thinking about moving back here. All I have to do is ask him to. But I wanted to give him a little time to himself before asking him to be back here.” She was trying to explain, as she tilted her head, “Beacon Hills is home, why would I leave home?” She was trying to comfort him, but also be truthful, as she lifted up a hand to wipe his tears gently, “Home is where the heart is, my heart is here with you, you dork.” She said Dork in the most loving manner possible, as she leaned over and brushed her lips over his cheek, “I promise to not go anywhere, unless it is to college, but you have to go to the same college and we have to get an apartment together at said college. You promise that.”

Stiles sighed as she spoke to him, and he just stayed completely still. He closed his eyes when she kissed his cheek and then he shrugged, "Fine." He wasn't exactly in a happy mood at this point. He felt almost heartless. Like his heart and been played with and ripped apart so much that there was just nothing left. He couldn't feel happy or sad, he was just there. And it was scaring him. "Maybe you should go home and clean yourself up." It wasn't that he wanted her to leave, he truly didn't but he didn't want her to be around him when he felt like this. He loved her too much, to make her feel even worse about something that wasn't even her fault.

"Your Dad is bringing me clothes. I'll clean up here. Plus it'll be funny to see what he picks out of my closet and dresser." She thought that would be amusing, considering the type of clothes she wore, she was sure that her Uncle did not know half of what her clothes were. She smiled to him, "Imagine what kind of clothes he'll bring me... probably something that doesn't match, or probably does not even cover everything." She was teasing him, but at the same time, "I'm not leaving you. Though thin and thick, you're stuck with me. Get used to it. I'm not leaving this hospital until you're home." And she meant that, as she snuggled to him and closed her eyes, "Now hush up and take a nap with me."

Stiles could tell that Sky was trying to cheer him up and get his mind off of everything, but nothing could get his mind off of it. He was depressed and he wasn't going to stop thinking about it until he had something else to worry about. So, he just lay there, as still as possible. He was in pain both physically and mentally. "No, I'm not tired. You go ahead," He wasn't lying or anything, he truly wasn't tired and he was scared to sleep, he was scared of the nightmares that were going to come. He sighed and took slow, deep breaths, as the attack got closer. 'Stop being such a wimp!' He told himself as he stayed there. But, he was a wimp and nothing was going to change that. He was weak, unlike Sky, who could literally get through anything. He couldn't even think about what had just happened without crying! And the worst part of everything was that not even Sky could make him happy anymore.